Memories
by love comes and goes
Summary: Rogue cannot help, but be heavily affected by the people in her head. AU. Eventual Rogan.
1. Chapter 1

**After watching X-men: First Class, I find it hard to believe that someone like Magneto did not have a huge effect on Rogue's psyche. If she retains the people she's absorbed in her head there has to be some difference with her, even after being able to mentally push them away. There are some things you can't unlearn and I'm pretty sure being experimented on by Nazi scientist is one of them.**  
**Following that vein of logic, this will be AU.**

* * *

Rogue rises from her bed, gasping and reaching for a mother that wasn't hers. She breathes and almost manages to calm down, but a sob escapes her, and she knows she won't be able to sleep tonight. So she rises, still covered in layers even in her sleep, and walks blindly through the mansion, not quite sure where she's headed.

"I got my revenge," she murmurs softly. The memory of the coin going through his head flashes through her mind, and she calms, absently reaching for it, but then remembers that she's not Magneto, and she's never actually seen the coin either.

"Mother is avenged."

"You're speaking German again."

Rogue jumps, and raises an arm. The metal in the room shakes, but does nothing beyond that and she relaxes when she sees that it's just Logan. Instantly she feels horrible for raising her hand at him.

"Sorry," Rogue apologizes.

"Can't sleep?" Logan asks with a drawl. Rogue shakes her head no. Logan nods and begins to walk, pausing at the stairwell.

"You comin'?"

Rogue blinks before nodding and following.

She can tell from the fact that he's damp that he just had a session in the Danger room and took a shower. Logan had nightmares of his own. She would know- she had his too. They made it to his room, and Rogue had done this enough times now to have her side of the bed, which she laid on immediately. She burrowed into his sheets and breathed in his scent. It always made her feel better.

"Magneto?" Logan asked after a couple minutes.

"Yeah," she answered, calmed enough to speak without a hitch. She tried to talk about them as little as possible, the dreams. They weren't hers. It was bad enough she was having them, Logan didn't need them added on to his own depressing bunch.

Logan grunted, removing his shirt to sleep. It didn't make Rogue uncomfortable, having the knowledge of so much more than just nudity. It always made her feel horrible for knowing such intimate things, but Logan assured her that they weren't women that mattered and that it was the price he was willing to pay to keep her alive. The things that he remembered weren't the ones he cared about after all.

It's been about two weeks since Liberty Island, and she's trying really hard to compartmentalize, but it's a lot harder than one would think. There's two unbelievably strong people in her head who have done so much in their lives that she wonders if there's enough space in her head for it all. She knows Logan feels guilty for giving her his nightmares and that it's one of the reasons he allows her in his bed. She doesn't mind and she's not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. It helps to see that there's an actual tangible person and that it's not just a voice in her head. The things she sees are real; memories from someone else's life.

She's always wanted to travel the world, still wants to even after all this, maybe especially after all this. Logan has been all over the United States and Canada, and, sometimes, she can smell the snow, can remember a particular person who had been really nice to the Wolverine despite his less than polite countenance, the scenery, the feel of it all, and she'd love to experience it for herself in her own body and not through someone else's memories. She's not one to live vicariously through someone else.

Then, there's Magneto, whose been all over the world in search of his mother's killer.

All she remembers is the melancholy that garnished everything he ever saw. The disgust with the sights he witnessed, wondering how much blood had been spilled to erect the old lavish buildings. Everything was tainted with a cynical outlook and it made her appreciate the sights all the more, oddly enough. Lives had to have been lost all for the sake of the beauty, and they did not die in vain. Thousands of people visited the sights to admire their hard work after all.

_Oh Erik_, she mentally sighed wishing she didn't understand why Magneto was the way he was. When she's tired, and worn down from the images, she finds herself agreeing with Magneto. Humans are such vain creatures, ready to kill over anything man deems worthy.

_But weren't they exactly the same? _They were raised with a human mentality; with morals, manners, and feelings. They were still human after all, with just a little extra added to the package.

Her eyes are bleary with her inner thoughts. They're exhausting enough to cause sleep to rear it's ugly head, but she finds herself unable to succumb to slumber. Still thinking, trying to figure out why she was bothering at all. She wasn't making any headway arguing with the Erik in her head and she doubts she'll ever have a civilized conversation with the real life Magneto, whose probably much more stubborn than the one in her mind and harder to reason with. The man is too set in his ways.

"Sleep, Kid," Logan grunts quietly. His hand sets on her head and strokes it in a comforting way that has her asleep in minutes.


	2. Chapter 2

The sound of someone shuffling in the hallway to start their day is what wakes her. Rogue's body is sluggish and heavy with fatigue, but with Logan's advanced senses the noise is nearly impossible to ignore and she's semi-awake. Normally, she shoves her head under her pillow and tends to go right back to sleep until Logan kicks her ass out, nicely of course. Their skin must have touched. It was probably brief enough for it to just cause a bit of discomfort, but it was enough for her to regain some strength for his powers again.

Rogue let's out a breath and decides that since she is already awake, she might as well get up. Logan's clock informs her that it's almost six, and she holds back a groan of frustration. It will give her time, at least to make a good hearty breakfast for Logan. The man tended to eat whatever was quickest to make in bulk to sedate his hunger and she was feeling the same right about now.

She heads down to the kitchen, the mansion mostly empty due to the hour and begins to make breakfast enough for four people. Her mother used to be a southern bell, and as such, made it her duty to teach her daughter how to cook. While Rogue hadn't gotten to learn some of the fancy things—having run away and all—she did know the basics, so she was making eggs, bacon, and toast.

"Kid," Logan grunted in greeting. She grunted in return, putting the food on two huge plates for both of them. He blinked at the plate before him, then nearly smiled at her. That was enough thanks for Rogue. It was almost seven now, and there were kids shuffling in, half awake to get some measly breakfast. She would have offered them some of the food she made, but Logan didn't look like he was up to sharing. Admittedly, she wasn't up to sharing much either.

"'Ornin' chica," Jubilee mumbled.

"...Mornin'," Rogue greeted roughly after swallowing a mouth full of food. She continued to eat, realizing that the girl was mostly asleep, and wasn't about to hold a conversation. It was good too considering she wasn't good company either. Still, it was better than trying to fight Erik Lensherr about what was right and wrong.

_An age old argument that shall never be solved, _Magneto stated nostalgically.

_Shut up,_ the Wolverine within her growled.

_Both of you shu__t up,_ she pleaded, massaging her temples from the headache she felt coming on.

"You okay, Kid?" Logan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Erik doesn't like me," Rogue explained.

"If he argues with you it means quite the opposite my dear," the Professor said as he made his way into the kitchen. The few students there greeted him with respect despite the early hour, and he responded in kind. She felt a strange mixture of affection and annoyance at the sight.

"Not everybody has the pleasure of being a mind reader," Rogue retorted, a slight german inflection managing it's way at the end. "...Sorry," she apologized with a groan.

"Quite alright. I'm aware that Erik isn't the most easiest of people to handle," Charles said, waving away her apology. "That is why I am here to help."

"You came all the way down here for that?" Wolverine questioned dubiously.

"At this instant? No. I have faith in Rogue's capabilities. What I am here for is my cup of coffee," Charles said, heading over to the coffee maker. Rogue couldn't help the fond smirk cross her face at his quip. She could practically see the old Charles from their younger days. Wolverine glowered at her before shoveling the rest of his food in his mouth, no sense of manners.

"I think I'll be going to class today," Rogue decided. The professor sent her a proud smile that made her feel embarrassed. Logan snorted before she could blush.

"'Bout damn time. You've been clingy, kid," he said going over to get a beer from the fridge. She glowered at him as he sent her a smug look.

"I can't believe you crave beer even in the morning," Rogue muttered as she finished off her breakfast, reaching for a glass bottle that wasn't there. She sighed, and took her plate and fork to the sink.

"I like my beer, darlin'," Logan said with a shrug. "But unlike you I can have one."

"Asshole," Rogue commented leaving before she truly became tempted, her middle finger behind her on the way out.


	3. Chapter 3

"Si, profesor, puedo hablar español," Rogue said when Scott asked her to stay behind after class. It had been to inquire if anything was wrong because she hadn't been paying attention to class, but it wasn't any pressing matters on her part; simply boredom. Erik was fluent in many languages that he so kindly supplied to her, and Spanish was one of them. Argentina came to mind.

"Oh. Would you like to switch to a different class?" Scott offered.

"What other classes do you offer?"

"French—"

"I can speak all the languages you offer," Rogue muttered. Cyclops stared at her for long moment.

"Self-defense," he declared.

"You can do that?" Rogue asked skeptically.

"Its not your fault you can suddenly speak a language- languages you didn't know a week ago," Scott said with a slight shrug. "Considering your... turbulent arrival here, I think it's rather appropriate really."

"Thanks Scott- I mean Mr. Summers," she said with a smile.

"I think you've earned being on a first name basis with me," Scott said returning the smile. Rogue felt her smile grow bigger in response.

* * *

"Mr. Summers is so nice. I don't really get what irritates you so much," Rogue commented once she relaid her day to Logan. He merely grunted at her unasked question and fiddled with said one eye's bike. Marie was on a chair beside him, book open, but having long stopped doing homework to watch him. "I mean, he was being so nice to me, but the fact that he was being so nice annoyed me."

"Beats me, kid. The bub just annoys. Period," Logan said with a grunt.

"Maybe because he gets to fuck Red?" Marie teased.

"I've had my fair share of Reds," Logan growled at the implication. Rogue merely laughed closing her textbook shut.

"I'm feeling jittery. Lets go work out, sugah," Rogue suggested with a smirk. It was more for his sake than hers, but with only having boys in her head she could understand the need to workout.

"Anything to shut you up," the Wolverine said, fondly mussing her hair. Rogue childishly stuck out her tongue in retort.

"I'm gonna go leave my homework in my room. Don't want it to smell as bad as you do," Marie said, heading upstairs. She chuckled when she heard his curse and mumbled protest. Rogue nearly ran into Bobby in the process. Thanks to Logan's reflexes, however, she managed to evade him without making a scene.

"Oh, Rogue, hey," Bobby said smiling at her. Before Liberty, his smile used to send her heart racing, but now all she felt was old. Erik's affect no doubt. "I haven't had a chance to talk to you since... since you came back."

_Smooth,_ the Logan in her head commented sarcastically. Rogue smiled and countered that she found it endearing that he was worried about her.

"I've been busy," Rogue said with a shrug. She didn't want to say that she couldn't be around people because she hadn't gotten a handle on Erik and Logan.

"Well, I'm glad you're back. You wanna hang out in the game room?" Bobby offered hopefully.

"How juvenile," Rogue breathed, despite herself. "Sorry, I can't. Rain check?" Rogue offered apologetically.

"Tomorrow?" Bobby asked hopefully. He made no comment on her personality change.

"Tomorrow," she confirmed with a smile.

When she showed up at the gym—Logan still wasn't okay with her being in the Danger Room yet—Rogue couldn't stop smiling. It quickly turned to a smirk of amusement when she noticed that there seemed to be a few more females in the room than the norm. Logan's work no doubt.

_Gross,_ the one in her head said with a grunt.

_Doesn't boost your ego?_ Marie asked surprised.

_No, _Logan deadpanned.

"If we went to the DR, you wouldn't have so many eyes undressing you, sugah," Rogue teased. Logan growled and gave her an expectant glare as he threw himself to the ground in push-up position. With a shrug, Rogue took a seat on his back, and he began.

"So Bobby asked me to hang out with him tomorrow," Rogue mentioned as she kept a mental count.

"Not today?" Logan questioned not the least bit winded.

"You were listening," she realized.

"Why didn't you go?" Logan asked gruffly.

"I'm not ready yet," Rogue mumbled.

"But you will be tomorrow," Logan said dubiously.

"Ya. I have my session with the professor later."

Logan paused before continuing. The subject was dropped.


	4. Chapter 4

"It is your mind Rogue, do not forget that," Xavier said as he pulled away. Rogue felt her eyes open, even as she continued to see the walls she had built. The picture she imagined was a huge gate, one that could only be opened with her permission.

Because the thing was, she didn't want all the personalities completely blocked from her head.

"No. It used to be my mind. Now..." She wasn't sure what she was trying to say. She knew she was Rogue, but there were just some things she couldn't unlearn. Like the professor having used his knowledge of genetics to pick up girls. The way Wolverine tended to fall back on an animalistic personality. Or the horrible experiments done on Erik.

Absorbing Magneto had been the worst experience of her life.

When she had absorbed David, he was just as panicked as she was, and the doubling hysteria had led to her running away. While she had known a little too much about guys for her comfort, once she—and David—calmed down, things were fine. They called to see if he was alright and once he was put out of the accidentally induced coma, David was fine with just hanging out in the back of her mind, very rarely commenting on anything, knowing that it wasn't really his place, and Rogue had been content with pretending he wasn't there.

With Logan, it had been less about his personality, and more about his powers. She had never absorbed a mutant before, and the animal within him had been so different and nearly unknown that it had more or less taken over everything. When the time came, fight or flight, flight won over despite the huge urge to scream and punch somebody in the face. Again, she knew a few too many things about Logan that were awkward at first, but she liked Logan and it didn't matter in the end. He was a smart ass and didn't apologize for who he was. It was weird having another conscious so interested in viewing the world through her eyes, and while it was something to get used to, it was fine.

Magneto, on the other hand, was so entirely different that she still shuddered about it to this day. Maybe because he was the one who poured his power into her, but it had been so intense and invasive that she felt like she was Erik, dying for a cause she believed in. With so much power, came the memories. His life flashed before her eyes. Everything from the youngest bit of memories, to the horrors of the holocaust. She remembers training her body to the point of exhaustion and learning the languages she knew were going to be important for tracking Shaw down. Meeting Charles and harnessing her powers to their greatest extent. Falling in and out of love with Mystique. All the hardships and separations with other women, but going back to her in the end. His children, not being there for his eldest son's birth, but raising him as her right hand... such a disappointment he turned out to be...

People dying was nothing new, but she remembered their faces well. The loss of life is nothing to just shrug off, but it was all for the mutant cause. A people- no, species would never be persecuted again.

"Now I've... changed. I've seen their lives before my eyes as if I had lived it, and I'm not some sixteen year old run away anymore. I'm not an 80 something holocaust survivor either, or sixteen year old football player, or a guy without his memories. But I'm not-not them either. They've all had a huge impact on me and I can't really be Marie anymore. I'm, I'm Rogue," she finished, hoping she made sense.

Charles stared at her for a good long minute while they both digested what she admitted. Finally he nodded.

"You are Rogue," he agreed. "But you are also still Marie. Simply a Marie who has matured with the knowledge you have gained. You still want to travel, despite all that you have seen from Erik's mind. You have simply matured at a faster rate than the rest of us."

Rogue—Marie, stared at Charles for a moment before smiling and nodding.

"Thank you Professor. Your insight never ceases to amaze me."

"It is my pleasure, my dear. Our session ran a little late so you might want to head to bed. You start defense training tomorrow."

* * *

"I'm still Marie!" Rogue exclaimed excitedly jumping onto Logan's bed.

"Hadn't realized you weren't," Logan grunted as she jostled him.

"No I mean in essence. You know how I had been scared about Erik's personality taking over, but Charles said that while I couldn't not be affected by what I had seen, I won't be taken over or anything either."

"I told you," Logan muttered.

"You said I was being stupid," Rogue said.

"Same thing."

"Ha ha," she deadpanned.

"Go to sleep kid. You're getting up and early tomorrow."

"Why?" she asked, going under the covers. Logan stayed on top in case anybody walked in and got the wrong idea. And while the idea that someone could think that he was taking advantage of her made her mad, she could understand the precaution, and didn't argue with him. Plus, she knew that he couldn't get sick so she didn't worry about him getting a cold. He'd slept in much worse places just fine and Rogue knew that he was on cloud nine with the luxurious bed they provided him. Hell, after months on the road, so was she.

"Just want to keep those reflexes on check," he mumbled, already nodding off.

* * *

Logan hadn't been kidding. They were in the DR by six and despite the early hour and very little sleep she'd been getting the past week, she was excited that he was finally letting her into the Danger Room. They started immediately, Logan striking and Marie dodging. It was interesting to say the least. She had the reflexes of both experienced fighters.

Admittedly, she sucked. In the first ten minutes she got so many bruises that Logan had to stop to let her recover.

"Like I thought. You don't know how to move. You could be great at this, but you need to sort your head out," he said. Rogue blinked and sighed. It was true. One half of her wanted to do one thing, while the other wanted to do something else. When she finally did pick a move, it wasn't quite right, the moves practiced for a body much different than her own. It was distracting, it made her hesitate, it was confusing, and that was the reason she got her ass handed to her so badly. So Rogue closed her eyes and nodded.

"Alright. Round two," Logan declared when he saw her get into a stance. It was a little awkward and it looked like it needed a bit of an adjustment, but it was a pretty big step up from before where she was just fumbling around taking hits.

So after a quiet moment, Logan attacked.


	5. Chapter 5

She was admittedly smug. All through her first couple classes, Rogue had this air about her, almost like confidence. It was a huge difference from the day before where she had tried really hard to fade into obscurity. It was impossible not to notice her, the way a smirk would occasionally cross her face. It brought further attention to the fading black eye and healing split lip.

"Hey are you okay?" Bobby asked after class.

"Yeah why?" she asked, confused.

"Because you got a shiner the size of a baseball," Pyro explained.

"Oh. Its still there?" Rogue muttered, poking it. There was a slight throb, but it quickly stilled once her finger stopped touching it.

"Who'd you get in a fight with?" Pyro asked looking around for another girl that was sporting injuries.

"No. I was training in the Danger Room with-" Quite suddenly, Rogue broke into giggles. The boys shared a wide eyed look.

"Shut it," Logan growled behind them. The boys jumped in surprised, both by his sudden appearance and from the very intimidating glare he was shooting them- or rather Rogue.

"Sorry sugah," Rogue managed with a smirk. Logan rolled his eyes before just grabbing her hand and removing her glove. They held hands for two... three seconds before Rogue pulled away, face completely healed, unable to keep the smirk off her face. Logan rolled his eyes once more before walking away.

"-with Logan," Rogue finished, turning back to them. John and Bobby were still quite surprised by how unafraid Rogue was of Logan.

"I thought he banned you from the DR?" Bobby questioned after a moment.

"Not anymore," Rogue said with a shrug. She wanted her appearance in defense class to be a surprise. Bobby and John were veterans around the mansion with some of the best control over their powers, and some of the oldest. Defense was a bit of a precursor to the X-Men and very few of the students were taking that class. Most took control classes, sorted by category by the type of power they had. It was why she had one on one sessions with Charles. Her power was unique; unheard of.

The thought, a couple weeks ago, would have sent her into a bit of a depression—a freak among freaks, but if Erik and Logan were good for anything, it was the over abundance of confidence in ones self. Logan understood, but he hated feeling sorry for himself and Erik thought her power was far too great for one to hate it.

So instead she merely smirked. Bobby and John, confused by the change in her personality, decided it was better to let the subject go, and they headed for class.

* * *

"Rogue?" Bobby questioned, eyes wide.

"Suhprise," Rogue said in her southern accent, glad to see the group of ten so surprised by her appearance. She'd technically only been at the school for two weeks after all. It was unheard of.

Just like Logan being there was weird.

"We'll be having Logan here help with class today," Scott explained. If it wasn't for the slight twitch of his eyebrow, she would have never known how much Logan's presence irritated him. It made her smirk. Catching Logan's smug look, Rogue flat out grinned when she caught his eye. They were all here in fact. Storm, Jean, Pyro, Jubilee, Kitty, Piotr, and even the Professor who was safely behind the controls.

"In light of what happened, we must learn to defend ourselves from other mutants," Storm stated. Rogue tried to pretend she didn't feel any eyes on her. "We shall spar without the use of our gifts and go from there."

Rogue was paired off with Kitty who could have been her worst match up considering her power to become intangible.

_She could grow to be deadly,_ Erik murmured in her head. She winced at the image that was conjured. Phasing through the body, letting a hand become tangible in a vital organ, killing an unsuspecting opponent.

"I'll go easy on you," Kitty offered, misreading her wince. Rogue hated being up first, but she and Kitty were supposed to be the most docile of the group and generally the weakest. Rogue figured that they were being matched because they had the least amount of training or something.

Kitty ran forward and tried to sweep her with a low kick. Kitty didn't know how to control her body language yet so Rogue knew the move was coming long before Kitty actually performed it. All it took was a jump and a fist that slammed into Kitty's face with a force that hurt Rogue's arm. Thankfully, it only managed to daze her, but it was enough that Scott immediately called the fight. Rogue twisted her arm around, her body still unused to fighting.

There was a stunned silence that Erik found insulting.

"The girl underestimated me," Rogue said with a shrug. A blush managed it's way onto her face when Logan got that proud look on his face.

"Then let us proceed," Storm said after a moment.

Rogue went beside Logan who placed a hand on her head proudly. Rogue rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. Erik had been quite the martial artist and had given her the experience she needed. Rogue had to adjust herself to match what he wanted. Once she got the hang of it, she could even land a hit on Logan.

Of course that was only possible when he took her seriously. After he had given her that shiner and split lip, she'd been motivated to focus that much harder and work with Erik. She couldn't use Logan's moves considering he knew them perfectly and no doubt waiting for them. Instead Rogue had used the knowledge to anticipate what he would do and counter.

The look of utter disbelief on his face when he realized that she had flipped him onto the ground had been so hilarious that she could not stop laughing. Not to even to give him the opportunity to heal her.

Rogue was getting better.


End file.
